


Every Journey

by matan4il



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Letters, Love Confessions, Love Letters, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:07:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27028570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/matan4il/pseuds/matan4il
Summary: Prompt fill from the sensory prompts list for the prompt:Your bed after traveling.Originally posted onmy Tumblr.Your bed after traveling is where I want to be, Eddie.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 62
Kudos: 126





	1. Every Journey

**Author's Note:**

  * For [adamngoodbatch (sibbed)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sibbed/gifts).



> So much love and gratitude to the incredible [Toughpaperround](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToughPaperRound/pseuds/ToughPaperRound) for the beta!

Your bed after traveling is where I want to be, Eddie. 

Bobby has sent me on this assignment, to represent the 118 at a big conference in New York City and it's been an honor. No, scratch that. You know how Bobby has sometimes had issues seeing me as responsible in the past? Well, this has been progress. For both of us, because I know I wasn't always in a place where I could win his trust. I'm there now and he's slowly advanced to the same place, which is good. It's great, really. But traveling such a long distance makes me miss home like crazy. And that's not my loft, is it? Not since the first time you let me crash on your couch and I fell asleep to the sound of your snores coming in through the bedroom door that you left open, and woke up to Chris practically jumping on me.

(Don't worry, he didn't. But I would have loved it if he did)

I know we didn't kiss that night, we didn't fall into the trap of sex either. I did catch a glimpse of you in the bathroom mirror. Not just your bare chest. I saw _you_. And then I looked away, even though I would have liked to continue watching. But that wasn't more important at that moment than that you would want me to.

Fuck it, Eddie. Truth is, I'm always seeing you. When we work out at the gym, the parts of you that your clothes reveal and the parts that my imagination traces under. At times when we get to a call and we have to run into a burning building, it's you that I see when I'm calculating the risks. And when I've been successful at a complex task, I always look around for your eyes and your smile. Even when you tease me and pretend to be unimpressed, I catch that hint of pride that you try to hide in the corner. That's when I feel accomplished. And I see you in Chris, in how caring he is, just like you; in the way that you raise him, putting all of your heart into it.

(And in me, in how you fill up more and more of the gaps inside me)

So your bed, when my plane touches ground tonight, after all of this traveling, that's where I _need_ to be. To feel the cool, crisp sheets and how they contrast against my perspired body. To fit into the dip that's slowly forming in the spot that is becoming mine. To have you draped over half of me, pressing your lips into my shoulder, forcing the tension to melt away.

We've only kissed for the first time a couple of months ago. We're just at the start. Most of our clothes and belongings are still very much separated. I only take up a few spots in your house. So I know that we're not yet at the stage where I skip my own apartment for your place after a long journey, but I can't help wanting that. I'm discovering more of what I can do on the job and what I'd like to do outside it. I'm gonna go on more and more journeys. But if you let me, you're going to be the end of each one.

I'm not gonna send you this letter, that I'm typing on my mobile's notes. I will call you and ask if it's okay to come over, instead of waiting to meet tomorrow morning. I think you’ll say yes. And one day, I'm going to show you this, when the time is right. Because you deserve to know just how long you've been my home.


	2. Begins and Ends with You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written for Evan Buckley week 2020, day 7's free choice and for [Haley](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HaleyBuckley/pseuds/HaleyBuckley), who requested Eddie watching Buck asleep, with softness and fluff. I hope you enjoy it, darling!
> 
> Eddie writes a letter on his mobile phone to a sleeping Buck. 
> 
> This chapter can be read separately from chapter 1 (which is Buck's letter to Eddie) or together, with Eddie's letter having been written first out of the two. 
> 
> _My couch after a long shift. That’s where you crash way too often, Buck. Or after an evening spent together, when we’ve chatted over beers. The first time was fatigue and miserable planning on both our parts. But now it’s a habit, a natural extension of our lives and it would be weird if I’d glance over and not see you sleeping there. If I didn’t have the excuse of covering you up with a thin blanket to get a closer look._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again to the darling [Toughpaperround](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToughPaperRound/pseuds/ToughPaperRound) for the beta!
> 
> Also to [Oneawkwardcookie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/oneawkwardcookie/pseuds/oneawkwardcookie) whose suggestion made me connect Haley's prompt to a previous ficlet to make both richer. Thank you, hon! ;) 
> 
> You can always say hi, drop me a question or a prompt at [my Tumblr](https://matan4il.tumblr.com/)!

My couch after a long shift. That’s where you crash way too often, Buck. Or after an evening spent together, when we’ve chatted over beers. The first time was fatigue and miserable planning on both our parts. But now it’s a habit, a natural extension of our lives and it would be weird if I’d glance over and not see you sleeping there. If I didn’t have the excuse of covering you up with a thin blanket to get a closer look.

You’re the one who taught me how to use this stupid notes app on my phone. You’re always teaching me new things. Like, that I could have feelings for another man. From the first time that drunk girls on a call checked you out, it made me do the same and I thought, I get it. Objectively, you’re a good looking man, you’ve got muscles for days, I see why they swoon. But then you started helping me out with Chris. I didn’t even ask you to. You just went ahead with all of that big heart of yours, smoothing things over with Bobby, setting me up with Carla. You gave and you gave and you never asked for anything. That’s when I saw how truly beautiful you were. The rest followed easily. A short slide from admiring your biceps to hating drunk girls on calls who tried to get at them, to finally wondering what it would be like, touching them myself. Realizing that I want to. 

Not that I was ready, at least not yet. There were chapters in my life that were still only half written. I could list them one by one, but what matters is how constant the need for you was in all of them. Because you became a part of our family, a part of our strength. When you weren’t there, I felt lost. And when you were, that was my happiness found. 

I know I roll my eyes and tease you a lot. There’s no one else I prefer doing that with. I like it when you snark back. I love it even more when you don’t and just squint your eyes, like you’re wondering where I’m at. It makes me believe that you understand. I am so scared. You’ve become a part of our heart. If I _am_ wrong, how do we go on, beating without you? 

To be on the safe side, for Christopher’s sake if not for mine, I’m writing this to you. If everything goes well, I’ll show it to you someday, when it’s time, and we’ll have a laugh about everything together. You’ll squint your eyes at me jokingly before you’ll break into a grin. But what a big ‘if’ that is. You’re on the couch and your wide chest is rising and falling, tempting me to place my hand there and feel. The curls on the top of your head are as gorgeously wild as you are and your eyelashes are moving against your cheeks. You must be dreaming. What are the odds we’re dreaming of the same thing? 

I’m going to discover. I’ll put this aside and wake you up. If you allow me, we’ll kiss for the first time and I’ll treasure it. I bet it would be honey, sweet and flowing, exactly like in my dreams. Until it would be nothing like them, because you always surprise me. 

Maybe you’ll do that by saying no. I’ll send this to you right away, then. My apology. An unavoidable explanation. Me, swearing to you that I mean no disrespect by this. But I think that you’ve been crashing on my couch for so long because you belong here. So I have to try, for the chance that I’m right. It’s about time you found rest in my bed.


End file.
